Mt 26:14-25 Surely it Isn't I, Lord?

Wednesday of Holy Week
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One of the Twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, "What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?”  They paid him thirty pieces of silver, and from that time on he looked for an opportunity to hand him over.

Selling the Lord for cheap.  One of my favorite television programs is called "Forensic Files."  It's my favorite because I love science (when it is applied for good) and the drama of human existence.

I find it fascinating how crimes can be solved through forensic science and trace evidence.  But what I really find interesting is the reason - the motif - behind the crimes.   It amazes me how somebody would kill another human being just for money - as little as twenty-thousand dollars -, or a piece of jewelry - like a ring or a necklace -, or just for the thrill of it. 

With all that I have seen, I'm still shocked by the fact that Judas betrayed Christ for thirty pieces of silver.  What in the world was he thinking?  But is this all the evidence we have?  Not really.  As we will see in the coming days, there's more to this crime than meets the eye.

A little bit of Judas in all of us.  We've all had our moments when we let our thoughts run wild: when we imagined personal greatness or doing something really amazing - even heroic - that put us on the front cover of some famous magazine.  What typically stopped us dead in our thoughts were the odds against any of these things actually happening. After all, most of us are in no position to make a significant difference in the world.  At least this is how we feel when it comes to being good.  But when it comes to being evil, all bets are off. 

Being evil is a lot easier than being good.  Why is that? 

Sure, we've had our brief moments of imagining being superheroes but we've also had our long drawn out moments of being super-villains.   It seems to come pretty easy to us.  Why is that?  It's original sin.  And just like our world, our lives and minds our upside down. 

What motivated Judas to do what he did?  The same things that occasionally motivate us:  ambition, pride, vanity and sensuality.

Never say never.  Like most of us, Judas wanted to be heard.  He wanted to be respected.  He wanted his opinions to be accepted.  He wanted to move up in the ranks and be acknowledged before others; especially Jesus, Peter, James and John. 

Judas was a wanna be, just like me.  And since he couldn't take center stage, he ended up exiting stage left.  He sold the Lord out for silver. 

I can honestly relate to Judas.  And this is a very important lesson for me. 

We all have a little bit of Judas in us. 

So what's my price?  What am I willing to exchange the Lord for? 

If we want to defeat the dark angels within us, then we need to know what they are thinking...and thinking all the time. 

Surely it isn't I, Lord?  What a question!  Instead of feeling safe and snug around Jesus, the Apostles should have been terrified and humbled around Him; asking, with trembling voices, "Is it I, Lord?"

Jn 13:21-33, 36-38 Killing Me Softly

Tuesday of Holy Week
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Jesus was deeply troubled and testified, "Amen, amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me." The disciples looked at one another, at a loss as to whom he meant. ...Simon Peter said to him, "Master, where are you going?" Jesus said to him, "Where I am going, you cannot follow me now, though you will follower later."  Peter said to him, "Master...I will lay down my life for you."

Have I toiled in vain?  It's a lot easier to work with machines than with people.  Machines are predictable.  People can get so complicated.  Machines are very reliable and dependable.  People, not so much.  And when it comes to breaking down; hands down, machines are easier to fix.  They don't hide their problems.  People do, and we do a good of it.

It's a lot easier to please God than it is to please people.  God is very predictable.  We know where He stands on many issues, and He never budges.  People, on the other hand, will stand "behind" you one moment and then confront you the next.  What in the world are you thinking?

God is a Father.  He is not a mechanic.  He doesn't work on cars.  He works on us.  He doesn't occupy His time spinning worlds.  He occupies it with His children, and this is a full-time job.

Has the Lord toiled in vain for you?   

It was night.  As a priest, I know many souls who were once distant from God, never once thinking of Him.  But then one day, like the prodigal son, they returned to their Father's house and to his warm embrace.

Tomorrow night; that is, Holy Wednesday, I, along with a few other priests, will hear the priceless confessions of countless souls.  Some of them will not have been to confession in five, ten, twenty, thirty, forty even fifty years.  All their sins will be forgiven, forgotten, forever.  For many, this day will mark the beginning of a new day, a new dawn, a new beginning.  A light will appear at the end of what seemed to be an everlasting dark tunnel.  

Tonight will be an amazing night of tears and grace. 

Master, where are you going?  It's clear:  something is broken and someone needs to fix it.  Our relationship with God is broken and someone needs to fix it.  Christ is going to fix it.  He will do it first so we can follow next.  This is a teaching moment.  "Come follow me."

I will lay down my life for you.  Peter's heart was in the right place.  He loved the Lord.  But loving someone is a lot easier than following them.  One moment we're standing beside our best friend, the next we're chanting "Crucify Him.  It's easy to love someone from a distance.  We usually call this an affair.   It's another thing to love someone close up and with strings attached.  We usually call this a marriage.

On the one hand we want the Lord to fix our problems.  On the other, we don't want to see Him go.  We are so complicated.  We want Jesus to fix our problems from the safety of His home.  Love doesn't work that way.  We don't realize love can get awfully muddy and bloody.  It's strange, but this kind of reminds me of the women and children on the Titanic.  They wanted their husbands to fix the problem, they just didn't want to see them go away.   

The Lord made a bet with His Apostles.  He bet His life on it:  If I can teach you how to love, then I'm sure you'll teach others how to love.  "I give you a new commandment: Love one another as I have loved you" (cf. Jn 13:34-35). 

Peter's heart was in the right place but his mind wasn't there yet.  He needed an image burned into his memory.  He needed to first witness love before he could imitate it.  No wonder why the Lord said to him, "Where I am going, you cannot follow me now, though you will follower later."  Once love is observed, it is hard to resist it.

Master, I will lay down my life for you?  Who said these words?  The Lord and His servant, Peter.  Congratulations, Peter!  You said it and did it.

Sorry for the analogy, but love and sacrifice go together like roasted marshmallows and chocolate on a graham cracker.  It's messy but it's very, very sweet.

Jn 12:1-11 Snap!

Monday of Holy Week
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Judas the Iscariot, one of Jesus disciples, and the one who would betray him, said, "Why was this oil not sold for three hundred days' wages and given to poor?"  He said this not because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief and held the money bag and used to steal the contributions.

Why does Judas say such awful things to the Lord?  I have no doubt Judas was a good man, at the beginning, and that he wished to follow Christ with all his heart.  But over time something horribly wrong happened to him, and somewhere, somehow, he lost his faith in the Lord. 

Has this happened to me?  Has this happened to all of us? 

Be careful, for even the Lord's most loving expressions of affection can seem like pure exaggeration, and be met with suspicion, when one's mind is orchestrating and the heart is ill. 

Every good deed felt like a thorn in Judas' side and became an occasion for cynicism and open rebellion. 

No one is good.  No one is that good.  No one deserves to be respected.  No one deserves my respect. 

Why do we think such awful things?  Because we have been taught to think such things and to believe in such things.

Why do you say these awful things to me?  I know a lot of moms and dads who work tirelessly to keep their teenage children on the straight and narrow path, only to be met with ridicule and scorn by them.  They hear horrible things said to them and wonder:  "Why do they say these awful things to me?  Have I done something wrong?" 

I remember working for a man who was very power hungry, anal-retentive, obnoxious, rude, vulgar and downright mean to people in general and to me, specifically.  I immediately adapted myself to his style of being and found myself acting like a puppy dog in his presence.  Mind you, no one in the office argued with him.  No one complained about him.  No one criticized him.  On the contrary, people showed a great deal of respect towards him.  "Yes, sir!" was what I most often heard in his office.  Strangely enough, the people who worked the closest to him enjoyed working for him.  He made them feel like they owned the place.  It was all like a mafia. 

Now when I got shipped over to a new department, I found myself before a very kind and humble boss - one of those "team player" type of guys.  Unfortunately, I interpreted humility with mental weakness, gentleness with cowardice, and honesty with naiveté.  I would often blow up at him, and for the tiniest of reasons.  But one day, in a strong and calm voice, he asked me: "Why do you say such awful things to me?"  At that very moment, my mind and heart shattered and I felt like a spell had been broken, a spell that had been put on me by my former boss.

It took a while for me to stop standing on my head and to get my bearings straight.

What about you?  Are you still struggling?

I believe Judas had a higher regard for the Lord from a distance than he did close up and personal.  I'm convinced he saw the makings of a great king in Christ's healing powers, but a pauper in His willingness to forgive lepers and love sinners.  I believe Judas was certain the Lord had what it took to establish a new kingdom on earth, but was confused as hell as to why He kept confronting the country's greatest leaders!

Stop doing that! 

It's hard to break the spell that has been cast on us.  It's hard to believe there's a strength that comes from poverty and a beauty that accompanies humility.

Judas snapped before he could change.   

When you look at Judas, who do you see?  I know I see a bit of myself in him. 

We need to change before we snap.

Mt 26:14-27:66 Palm Sunday

Palm Sunday
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I don't know about you, but I struggle getting into the proper mood during Holy Week.  It's hard to be sad when you know how the story ends. 

I do not envy our ancestors at all, but I do believe they lived these upcoming days (Holy Week) in a way I will never be able to.  Their hearts and minds must have been filled with every type of emotion: with fits of fear, anger, guilt, denial, bitterness, confusion, despair, surprise, excitement, etc...  They must have gone from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows; from feeling like their world was falling apart to feelings of being on the top of the world; from hell to heaven in seventy-two hours.  Crazy! 

Today's Gospel passage invite us to let loose our emotions, to allow ourselves to be swept away by feelings of sadness and of guilt. 

These are the days to allow our imagination to run wild and to picture ourselves in every scene:  with Judas and the chief priests; with the disciples in the upper room; with Christ in Gethsemane; with the Lord at his trial and execution.

These are the days for contemplation and reflection; for sorrow and tears; to meditate on what we did to Him and what He did for us.

+ One of you will betray me...They began to say to him one after another, "Surely it is not I, Lord?" 

Sometimes the best lessons in life come from other people's mistakes.  All our lives we have been told to be very confident in ourselves.  Do I pride myself in being confident in myself?  If so, then take some time to reflect on this passage.  I find it earth shattering and timely.  Consider this passage an invitation to be less confident in oneself and more confident in every word that comes forth from the mouth of Christ. 

Then Judas, his betrayer, said in reply, "Surely it is not I, Rabbi?" 

Even Judas joined in like the rest of them.

+ This night all of you will have your faith in me shaken.

What night?  Only God knows, but there will come a night when the world comes tumbling down on me:  a phone call in the middle of the night; a horrible diagnosis; some terrible news.  The headless horseman will come riding to me in the middle of the night to shake my faith in all I ever knew and believed in.

+ Peter said to him in reply, "Though all may have their faith in you shaken, mine will never be."

He's so confident in himself.  Do I see a little of myself in him?

+ [Again] Peter said to him, "Even though I should have to die with you, I will not deny you."

Peter!  Peter!  Stop.  Lord!  Lord!  I get your point.  I'm sorry for the times I have promised way too much to you.  Better to be honest and humble, then confident and a liar.

+ Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived accompanied by a large crowd, with swords and clubs...His betrayer arranged a sign with them, saying, "The man I shall kiss is the one; arrest him."  Immediately he went over to Jesus and said, "Hail, Rabbi!" and he kissed him.

Do my thoughts or intentions correspond to my words and gestures? Am I nice to others just to get what I want? 

What looks like love is no love at all.  It is betrayal.  Have I betrayed God?  Have I betrayed my brothers and sisters?  Have I betrayed myself?

+ The high priest said to Jesus, "I order you to tell us under oath before the living God whether you are the Christ, the Son of God." ...[Then] Jesus stood before the governor, and he questioned him, "Are you the king of the Jews?"

Do you really want to know?  Is anybody really interested in the truth?  If not, then why keep asking?  This all for show!

Do I really want to know who Jesus of Nazareth is or have I already made up my mind? Am I really interested in the truth or am I just going through the motions?

Jesus told Pontius Pilate what he told the high priest:  "You have said so."  And they all threw a fit! 

So why did the Pharisees, scribes, elders, chief priests and the entire Sanhedrin hate Jesus so much?  What did He do?  Simply put: He ruined a good thing.  He revealed to the world who God is, and they didn't like what they saw.

"You have your God.  I have my God."  Sound familiar?  It does to me.  I used to say it all the time.  It was my favorite argument against others.  But it is no argument at all.  It's just a retreat.  It's a tactic. 

Jesus blew apart our image of God, the one created with our pride, vanity and sensuality; the one that took years to construct; the one that looks an awful lot like, well, me.  How convenient of him.  How convenient of me. Look at how flexible my god is.  He bends with me. He sides with me. He agrees with me. He loves me.  How wonderful is my god.  

We hate Christ because He ruined our relationship with our false gods!

+ Those passing by reviled [Jesus], shaking their heads and saying, "...Save yourself...and come down from the cross!"  The chief priests...mocked [Jesus] and said, "...Let him come down now, and we will believe in him."

Spoken like a true militant atheist but with an interesting religious twist.  

Militant atheists don't rely on God for anything.  If you want something done, then you better take matters (and some people) into your own hands, even at the risk of being very wrong. 

Militant "religious atheists" don't rely on God for anything religious,  especially when dealing with religious people.  They tend to take matters and people into their own hands, even at the risk of being very wrong.  

Well if "God" won't put Jesus of Nazareth to death, then we will, and we will do it anyway we can, even if it means doing everything the devil would do. 

Religious atheists think they are doing God a favor when they kill His "enemies" in His name.  They are not.  The crucifixion of our Lord teaches us that.  

Jesus said to his disciple:  "Put your sword back into its sheath, for all who take the sword will perish by the sword.  Do you think that I cannot call upon my Father and he will not provide me at this moment with more than twelve legions of angels?"  

As the Lord's disciples were being rounded up and beaten, one of the wisest words ever spoken in the New Testament (Acts 5:34-39) came from a devout Jew, a Pharisee, who apparently remained a devout Jew all his life. His name was Gamaliel.  In the presence of his fellow Pharisees, he said the following words:

"Men of Israel, consider carefully what you intend to do to these men. Some time ago Theudas appeared, claiming to be somebody, and about four hundred men rallied to him. He was killed, all his followers were dispersed, and it all came to nothing.  After him, Judas the Galilean appeared in the days of the census and led a band of people in revolt. He too was killed, and all his followers were scattered. Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

These are the days for contemplation and reflection; for deep sorrow and tears; and to meditate on what the Lord did for us and we did to Him.

+ Arise, let us be on our way.

Jn 11:45-56 Forget what you saw here.

Saturday of the Fifth Week of Lent
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Meditation by Kim Elenez

“I didn’t see that.” How many times have we uttered those words when we know we most definitely did see it? Perhaps to a colleague doing something that you both know is wrong, but chose to turn a blind eye. Maybe your child spilled a drink in a store, and you just looked both ways and kept going. “I didn’t see that.”

The Lord gives us so many wonderful gifts – sight is one of them. With this gift we appreciate the power of His majesty with color and expression. But He has also given our minds the gift of sight in that we can “see” things without using our eyes.  Understanding and comprehension are equivocal to sight. And because of this, at times, we decide what we want to see.

You can’t put toothpaste back in the tube.

I don’t remember where I picked up this phrase. Probably in some business meeting or from some speaker, where jargon and metaphors run a muck to turn dry conversation richer. That said, I like it. It means that you can’t un-do some situations. For example, you can’t un-say something. Once you’ve said it, it’s out there, now what will you do?

So the chief priests and the Pharisees convened the Sanhedrin and said, “What are we going to do? This man is performing many signs. If we leave him alone, all will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away both our land and our nation.”

But one of them, Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, said to them, “You know nothing…

I have to believe the chief priests and Pharisees felt like they had toothpaste all over the place. What are we going to do with this guy Jesus? He’s out there making believers out of all these people, and we haven’t shut him down? And we haven’t because, gulp, he’s got the goods to back up his claims. Ok, ok, here’s the deal, fellas – you know nothing. Capiche?

So from that day on they planned to kill him.

What if they hadn’t killed Him? What if they had chosen to honor Him and believe? What a mess that would have been to clean up! The Romans would have made their life absolute hell. To bad for those chief priests and Pharisees that they didn’t comprehend the reality that they would have had God on their side during that cleanup period with the Romans. Sometimes when the toothpaste is out, we make an even bigger mess trying to clean it up.

But remember this was not their plan. God knew that these humans would fail. Christ’s passion was decided by God, so it was going to happen, Pharisees or not. We flawed humans made sure of that long before Jesus was born. This is God’s will – to go to the extreme to get the point across.

As we prepare to enter holy week, look around. What messes are happening around you that you typically don’t stop to clean up? What are you choosing not to see? Maybe it’s a relationship with a sibling? Maybe it’s a project at work that you’ve been procrastinating?

Spend some alone time with the Lord. He will forgive what you’ve let slip, and you will get great joy from the encounter. Lent is our time to stop repeating the mistakes of the past and to great the world with a new sense of hope.

This meditation was written by Kim Elenez, wife, mother and media executive in Dallas, TX. Kim converted to Catholicism in 2012.

Jn 10:31-42 God Speed

Friday of the Fifth Week of Lent
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The Jews picked up rocks to stone Jesus.  Jesus answered them, "...If I do not perform my Father's works, do not believe me; but if I perform them, even if you do not believe me, believe the works, so that you may realize and understand that the Father is in me and I am in the Father."  They tried again to arrest him; but he escaped from their power.  ...[But] many began to believe in him.

The three root sins.  Violent acts have been committed because of them.  Family members and friends have not spoken to one another because of them.  Good people have been overlooked because of them.  Foolish and deadly deeds have been performed because of them.  Life for many has become unbearable because of them.  What are they?  The three root sins:  pride, vanity and sensuality.

This is the last week before Holy Week.  It's that time of year when we need to do a Program of Life. 

Since the goal of every baptized Christian is to be "transformed into Christ," then it's important we get to know ourselves as quickly as possible, accept the brutal facts about ourselves and get to work to improve ourselves.   A Program of Life aims to do just that.

Pride, vanity and sensuality - like poor eating habits, a lack of sleep and not enough exercise - are sucking the very life out of us.  They may not be shortening our life span, but they are definitely not allowing us to live life to the full.

Get to know yourself.    We all suffer from pride, vanity and sensuality, but one of these three sticks out its ugly head a bit more than the others.  Which one is it?

PRIDE:  My security and self-esteem depend on me.

• Am I highly critical of others?
• Do I get annoyed with those who disagree with me?
• Am I judgmental?
• Do I put others down?
• Do I love to gossip about others?
• Do I have a hard time admitting my mistakes?
• Do I hide my faults?
• Do I "feel" like I don't need to pray?
• Am I calculating in my prayers (for example:  If you do this, Lord, then I will do this...).
• Am I constantly making excuses for myself?
• Do I get enraged when others do not thank me?
• Do I hold on to grudges?
• Do I put myself first?
• Do I think I am the only one who can do it right?

VANITY:  My security and self-esteem depend on others.

• Am I constantly seeking admiration?
• Do I often talk about myself to others?
• Do I stretch the truth?
• Do I find it difficult to saying "No"?
• Do I sacrifice my principles in order to fit in?
• Am I afraid to stand up for what I believe?
• Am I easily discouraged by failure?
• Am I always asking others for their opinion?  "How did I do?" or "How do I look?"
• Do I get easily crushed by a negative comment?

SENSUALITY:  My security and self-esteem depend on what I have.

• Do I seek the most comfortable state of being?
• Do I seek the path of least resistance?
• Do I run and hide from difficulties?
• Do I complain about the slightest amount of pain or discomfort?
• Do I find it difficult to make a sacrifice?
• Am I doing shoddy job at work and complain about it as well?
• Do I wait for others to serve me?
• Do my feelings rule me?
• Do I do and/or eat only what I like?
• Am I constantly seeking pleasure?  Is it like a drug?
• Do I only work with those I like?

Accept the brutal facts.  Don't worry, I know what you are thinking.  If you think you have all three, then join the club!  We all have all three!  But now is not the time to get down on yourself and shed a tear.  It's time to accept the brutal facts and move on. 

So which of these three stand out above the crowd?  Is it your pride, your vanity or your sensuality?  Pick a root sin, any root sin.

Get to work.  1st step.  The first thing you need to do is pick a motto.  Yep.  You will need a heavy duty motivational quote.  Below are some suggestions: [Remember to only pick one root sin.]

PRIDE:  Jesus meek and humble of heart.
VANITY:  It is no longer I who live in me but Christ.
SENSUALITY:  Thy Will be done!

2nd step.  How does this root sin manifest itself in your life?  How does it make its appearance in your life?  List only four or five examples.  Name names when appropriate and be specific in your examples.  Don't hold back on anything.  This list is for your eyes only. 

3rd step.  Now write down some very specific things you can do to address and correct these problems.  List four or five concrete things you can do on a daily or weekly basis.  Be specific.  This is your medication.  Don't hold back.  Again, this list is for your eyes only. 

This is your Program of Life.   Take a look at it in the morning.  Examine your conscience in the afternoon.  Ask yourself how you did at the end of the day.

May God be with you.

Jn 8:51-59 Taking Christ's Word For It

Thursday of the Fifth Week of Lent
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Jesus said to the Jews:  "Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever keeps my word will never see death."  So the Jews said to him, "Now we are sure that you are possessed.  Abraham died, as did the prophets, yet you say 'Whoever keeps my word will never taste death.'  Are you greater than our father Abraham, who died?...Who do you make yourself out to be?"

From Life to Living.  We all have life, but that doesn't mean we're all living.  To live in sin and fear is not living, it means barely surviving.  To transition from surviving to succeeding requires living in Christ Jesus.   

"Remain in me as I remain in you" (Jn 15:4). "If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (Jn 8:31).

"You will truly be my disciples" is another way of saying, "You will truly be alive." 

Abram was always alive, but he was not always living.  He began to live when he began to believe, and he began to believe when he took a leap of faith and left everything he ever knew for God's sake and for good.  It was from this moment on that Abram became known as Abraham.  His life took on a whole new meaning.  His change of name reflected a change of heart, mind, will and strength.  The old man was dead.  A star was born.   He went from being an insect (in the eyes of many) to a Patriarch (in the eyes of God); a small town boy to the father of millions (if not billions) of stars.  Wow!  What a change.  Talk about turning someone's life upside down and right side up! 

This is what God did through him, with him and in him. 

This is what He can do through us, with us and in us, if only we give him our permission.

Whoever keeps my word will not see death.  Sin kills.  It kills the mind, heart, body and soul.  It decapitates the mind, aggravates the heart and disintegrates the soul.  By now, you would think we had figured this out.  We haven't.  If saints die young, then sinners die younger.

Although it's bad enough that most people today are standing on their head, what makes it worse is how oblivious they are to it.  When the Church speaks out against premarital sex, people throw their hands up in protest.  But when Katy Perry and company glamorize drinking and partying - every Friday night - then young people throw their hats up in the air in agreement.  You might say, "Well, what the Pope says matters to over one billion people."  That may be true, but what Lady Gaga and Katy Perry think has just as much of an influence as the Pope.  In fact, individually, they have more people following them on twitter than he does.  Where is the responsibility?  Where is the accountability?    No where.  Standing on our heads.

This morning I gave a talk out at Christ the King School (CKS).  It is, without doubt, one of the finest schools in Dallas, if not the entire United States of America.  Their mission is simple:  train students to be saints, to succeed, not just survive.  This may sound obvious, but it is not, for so many schools today are trying to survive; that is, they are trying hard just to get their students to graduate.  Unfortunately, for many fine administrators, graduation rates have become the new metric of success, rather than an indication of the state of our society and families. 

What are we to do?  I'm not sure, but we shouldn't be redefining success or faking it or lowering it.  That's for sure.

The Lord told the Pharisees what they needed to hear, and it wasn't exactly what they wanted to hear. 

Lent is all about taking Christ's word for it, and not just His life.