Forgiveness

 There is something rather extraordinary about forgiveness.

If there is anything Jesus spent a tremendous amount of time doing while He walked this earth, it was forgiving sins. And why? Because He is the Redeemer. A redeemer brings something back. He restores what has been lost. Sin disfigures us. Sin wounds us. Sin separates us. And Christ comes to recreate us. In a sense, the story of creation begins again every time Christ forgives. We are recreated by His mercy. Thank God. Thank God that God is not like me. Thank God that God does not delight in the downfall of the sinner. There is no karma with God. The Gospel isn’t, “What comes around goes around.” The Gospel is, “Father, forgive them.” Jesus is hanging on the Cross, looking at the very people who put Him there, and He isn’t waiting for karma. He says, “Father, forgive them.” That’s the Redeemer. That’s what redemption looks like. And thank God. Because if God treated me according to “what comes around goes around,” I wouldn’t stand a chance. Instead, God gives me something I don’t deserve: mercy. He says, in effect, “Let’s begin again.” He recreates us. I have discovered something in my own life. Whenever I have judged another person—whenever I thought I had somebody figured out—I have often discovered that I was wrong. We don’t know everything another person carries. None of that excuses sin. But it should make us a little slower to condemn and perhaps a little quicker to have compassion. And then there is resentment. We send the hurt through ourselves again. We replay it. We relive it. And every time we do it, we experience the wound all over again. That’s why Sirach gives us such an extraordinary image: “Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight.” We hold tightly to the very thing that is poisoning us. We think we’re hurting the person who hurt us, when very often, we’re simply continuing to hurt ourselves. Maybe that’s what forgiveness really is: liberation. It doesn’t mean pretending that something didn’t happen. It doesn’t mean saying that what someone did was acceptable. It means I refuse to allow what someone did yesterday to determine who I am today. I refuse to hug anger tightly anymore. I let it go. And I leave the rest in God’s hands. Peter asks Jesus, “How often must I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus essentially tells him: Stop counting. Because God stopped counting a long time ago. Look at how much you have been forgiven. That’s the point of the Gospel: forgiven people are supposed to become forgiving people. St. Paul tells us why: “Whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.” My life belongs to Him. Your life belongs to Him. And even the person who hurt me ultimately belongs to Him. So maybe I don’t have to settle every score. Maybe I don’t have to have the last word. Maybe I can simply live the new commandment: “Love one another as I have loved you.” And leave the rest in God’s hands because Christ came to redeem us. He came to restore us. He came to recreate us. And sometimes, the greatest act of recreation God can accomplish in us is giving us the grace to finally open our arms—and let go of what we’ve been hugging so tightly. — Fr. Alfonse Nazzaro

"I Was Wrong": The 3 Hardest Words a Catholic Will Ever Say

A Cross in the Mountains

While I was celebrating the Mass in Spanish, I remembered something that happened when I was on missions in Mexico. We went to a really remote village up in the mountains, and on Good Friday they have a beautiful tradition of doing the Stations of the Cross. They decorate the place so beautifully.

Of course, they invited us to participate in the procession. And it was a long Stations of the Cross. We are talking about maybe three or four miles of stations. Along the way we were singing hymns, and I was thinking, oh, this is nice. The people were so happy to see a priest there. They were saying, “Father, it's so nice to have you here.”

I was feeling good. We are in Mexico. The weather was warm, but it was okay.

Then, at the second station, where Jesus takes up his cross, they said, “Father, come over here. We have a cross for you.”

For a minute I was going to say, “Oh no, I'm okay.” But they said, “No, no, we have a cross for you.” And I saw they had a cross for everyone. Little crosses. I was going to pick up one of the little crosses, and they said, “Oh, no, no, no. This one.”

And it was pretty much the same size. It was huge.

All I could think was, it's warm, it's hot, I'm going to get dehydrated. This is like three miles and I have the cross on the second station.

“Lead Me, Guide Me” — But Where?

There is a song we sing sometimes, even here. It's the one that goes, “Lead me, guide me along the way.” And it's very joyful, very upbeat. Like we are going to a party.

But where are we going? As long as we are going the same place I want to go, then I'm okay. But if it's somewhere else...

So is the Lord really leading me and guiding me if I am going where I want to go? No.

“Lead me, guide me” means the place I really do not want to go, but I know I have to go.

So where is the Lord leading us? The Lord is always leading us to Calvary. Always. There is no one here who will escape suffering, difficulties, challenges, betrayal, illness. None of us. None of us.

I don't want to go. The Lord's way is not fair. I don't want to go.

The Gospel of the Two Sons

And so that is what makes the gospel so remarkable. A father says to his son, “Son, go to the vineyard.” And the son says, “No. I'm not going to go.”

I don't know how many of you had a father you could say no to. I did not. When my father told me I was going to do something, I did it. I don't think I ever told my father no, except when it came to my vocation.

But in this gospel, the son says, “No. I will not go.”

We always want to teach our children to be confident in themselves, and we do have to teach them that. But we also have to help them open their eyes, their ears, their heart, and their mind when they are not making the right choice.

I think if, instead of jumping on your child the moment they say no, you just say “okay” and walk away, nine out of ten times that child is going to come back and say, “I'm sorry.” Leaving a little room and time for grace is important. It gives the child time to come to their senses.

Nobody Is Simply Good or Bad

These conversions that happen in our lives, they are not about who is the good son and who is the bad son. He's good. She's bad. No one is like that. We all have this good and this bad that we are constantly battling.

My will be done. Thy will be done. My will. God's will. It is this constant, constant clashing. Nobody is simply good and nobody is simply bad. We have this internal struggle throughout our entire life.

There are many times in our life where we say, “I don't want to go,” and then eventually, “Lead me, Lord. Guide me.”

What Are You Saying No to God About?

Today's readings invite every one of us to reflect. Everyone in the pews, everyone standing, everyone here today. The Lord is inviting us to reflect.

What am I saying no to God about?

Am I saying no when God is asking me to forgive? Am I saying no when God is asking me to fix my relationships? Am I saying no when he is asking me to be generous? Am I saying no when he wants me to do something?

There is something we are each struggling with.

And as St. Paul tells us, the Lord emptied himself. He took on the form of a servant, and he was obedient, becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. He humbled himself.

Obedience requires faith. Humility requires honesty.

The First Steps

The goal of today is to be able to say, with a sincere heart and mind, the first steps that are so important for a Christian.

The first step: I was wrong.

The second: I'm sorry.

The third: Forgive me.

The fourth: I need you.

The fifth: Help me.

And finally: Lead me, Lord.

Amen. 

Catholic Priest Explains Thoughts on Iran War

 

Dialogue, Not Bombs

What do I think about the Iran war?

As a priest, I would have to say, and I do believe exactly what the Holy Father says, that we've got to resolve our conflicts by talking to each other. That is always absolutely necessary. You just have to talk to each other.

The Catholic Church would stress that at every single possible level, because you want to avoid people being injured or killed who are completely innocent. The Church will always believe that if you have two parties who are both of goodwill, then you would be able to get to the table, sit down, and work out your fears, your disagreements, or what you consider to be a threat. The Church will always promote that way of resolving conflict.

So I agree with it. I agree with the Catholic Church. I agree with what the Holy Father says. And I don't say this just because I'm a Catholic priest. I think that is the ideal way of resolving conflict.

Military Pressure, Economic Pressure, and the Lessons of North Korea

So what do I think about the war in Iran? First of all, I'm not a historian and I am not a military expert. What is my opinion worth? About two percent. Take it with a grain of salt.

But based on everything that I've read, heard, and seen, I would say that there is this reluctance to use every possible military means of resolving or ending this conflict. I just read an article where they've cleared all the mines in the Strait of Hormuz. The Navy is there, the Marines are there, and yet the United States government is now attempting to use economic pressure to bring Iran to the negotiating table. Instead of military pressure, it's economic pressure.

And I guess anything would be better than bombs and missiles and drones and bullets flying. There's a risk to everything. Even an economic risk. As that video of that individual said, we could fall into a recession and gas prices could skyrocket.

My dad was a historian. He was a professor at RIT and taught history for many years. One thing I value most from growing up is that I had a library in my house, and it was extremely well-stocked with books. I've always loved history.

I have this book on Ulysses S. Grant here, and I love it because it gives you a perspective on how, during the Civil War, people sometimes think the North was extremely united against the South and the South was extremely united against the North. But in the North, there were riots when the Emancipation Proclamation was given. Riots in the Union states. People were rioting in the streets over the drafting of young men into the army. The North, and I believe the South as well, were not completely united on the cause.

So what we have to remind ourselves is this: if the nation is going to suffer, is it worth it? Gas prices going up, an economic recession. Is that pain worth what we're trying to achieve?

And what we appear to be trying to achieve is keeping Iran from developing nuclear weapons. It appears as though they enrich uranium beyond the need for civilian use. It appears as though they've built thousands and thousands of drones beyond the need to defend their country, and thousands and thousands of missiles beyond the need to defend their country.

There was something that Marco Rubio, the Secretary of State, said that I thought was very interesting. He said it appeared as though Iran was trying to follow the same model as North Korea, building such overwhelming conventional forces that you deter anyone from stopping your nuclear weapons program. That is how North Korea developed nuclear weapons. They had a massive army, a massive arsenal of tanks and weapons, and now intercontinental ballistic missiles. Nobody can do anything about them anymore. They have nuclear weapons, and they're going to be able to build as many as they want.

So it appears as though the United States has learned a lesson from North Korea. If you allow Iran to develop this tremendous conventional force of drones and missiles, it will become extremely difficult to stop them. The United States, which is a superpower, has not been able to end the nuclear program through weapons alone, by destroying their infrastructure or the factories that build these things. Iran has clearly developed a tremendous arsenal, possibly to give themselves the cover they need to develop nuclear weapons.

Has the Conflict Gone on Too Long?

Do I think that the war has gone on too long? Again, this book offers some great parallels.

When Abraham Lincoln was running for his second term, the Union had not had a tremendous outright victory in any battle. Gettysburg was probably the first battle where they had something like a victory, along with the siege at Vicksburg. People were getting tired of the war. It had already gone on for four years.

So you have to ask yourself, is there a time limit that makes a war not worth it? Or is it the cause that makes a war worth it?

When Lincoln was running for his second term, people were exhausted from the war. The number of deaths was staggering. We're talking thousands, not 20 soldiers like in today's conflict. One soldier's death is horrible, of course. But we're talking about a conflict in Iran that has lasted six months with perhaps 25 or 30 soldiers killed and hundreds wounded. In the same period during the Civil War, thousands died in a single battle. There were roughly 15,000 Union deaths at Gettysburg alone.

Lincoln was not expected to win a second term. The man running against him was a general he had fired, McClellan, who ran as a Democrat. Lincoln was the first Republican president, which is remarkable in itself, that such a young party could win the presidency.

McClellan ran against Lincoln promising peace. Peace was his talking point. He said the conflict had gone on too long and that we needed a negotiated settlement. Imagine what the country would look like today if that had happened. Would there even be a United States of America?

People were willing to negotiate the Emancipation Proclamation. People were willing to negotiate slavery. People were willing to negotiate secession. But others, like Lincoln and Grant, determined that some things are simply too important to negotiate. The only acceptable outcome was winning and getting what was right.

It was a just cause. It was a righteous cause.

So has the conflict with Iran gone on too long? That depends on whether or not it is a just cause and a righteous cause, and whether we are sparing our children the pain of having to deal with this same issue 20 years from now.

A Problem That Doesn't Go Away by Wishing

I remember as a high school student when Iran took American embassy workers hostage. That was around 1979. I remember Carter and how he had to deal with it. I remember Ronald Reagan and how he said we should deal with it. But the fact is that Iran held Americans hostage for over a year, and the problem didn't go away just by wishing it would.

Here we are in 2026, still dealing with Iran.

I believe that either we have to reach a result that will spare our children and grandchildren this agony, or we have to accept that we weren't able to deal with it, or simply hoped it would go away on its own.

In order to have peace, you need two sides of goodwill. And I don't know if we have that. If one side is constantly chanting death to America, I don't know how that can be goodwill. I don't see it.

Of course, that is the Iranian government, not the Iranian people. I know many Iranians, and they are just amazing, beautiful people. I think many Iranian people would hope for a change in their country. But I can't speak for them. I simply know that when a government or its supporters are constantly saying death to America, it is going to be a challenge, definitely a challenge.

The Current State of the Conflict

Should we be concerned about the war's results? Right now there are no clear results, except that no one is shooting at each other and oil appears to be passing through the Strait of Hormuz. The United States has shifted tactics and is now applying tremendous economic pressure on Iran. But the results we're looking for have not yet been attained.

How Can We Help Christians in the Middle East?

To help Christians in the Middle East, we have to pray for them. We have to support them economically. We have to encourage tourism, because that is a big and very important economic avenue for Christians living there. When Christians go to the Holy Land, they are able to support Christian stores and businesses.

If Christians in America and around the world don't support them, I don't know who would. There is just tremendous pressure coming from all angles on Christians living in the Middle East.

At our parish, we have a company that operates in the Holy Land and comes twice a year to sell beautifully crafted olive wood sculptures, statues, rosaries, and crucifixes. They are very grateful, very appreciative, and very humbled by the support. We are glad to have them.

Why Do Men Fight Who Were Born to Be Brothers?

War is not something the Catholic Church opposes in every circumstance. We are not pacifists. We believe there can be a just cause to go to war, and there are certain conditions that must be met for a war to be considered just.

But the evil of war is something General James Longstreet put into words that have stayed with me. Longstreet was a Confederate general who was also the best man at Ulysses S. Grant's wedding. He was present at Appomattox when Lee surrendered all Confederate forces to Grant, ending the Civil War. He later had something of a conversion, became a member of the Republican Party, and supported Grant in his presidential campaign, to the derision of former Confederate soldiers.

Longstreet asked this: “Why do men fight who were born to be brothers?”

That is the tragedy and the evil of war. If we see something as more important than the fact that we are brothers and sisters, we will always go to war. If we see money as more important, we will go to war. If we see land as more important, we will go to war. If we see oil as more important, we will go to war.

The evil of war, at its root, is the failure to recognize as the supreme good that we are all brothers and sisters.

Forgiveness & Why it Matters

 

The Mass Begins With Confession

My dear brothers and sisters, these readings really touch the heart. These are very human readings that we need to hear.

If you notice at the very beginning of Mass, what is the first thing that we do? We do the sign of the cross, and then we go right into “I confess.”

“I confess to Almighty God and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned in my thoughts, in my words, in my actions, in what I have done and what I have failed to do.”

That is the very beginning of the Mass. And after we confess, “Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy.” Then immediately, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to people of goodwill. We praise you, we bless you, we adore you, we glorify you, we give you thanks.”

It is almost as if we need to give thanks immediately after we ask for God's mercy. Because in the gospel today, the master forgives the servant's enormous debts, and then that servant immediately forgets. He goes on and has a hard time forgiving a fellow servant who owes far, far less.

It is amazing how quickly we can forget that when we receive mercy, we have to give mercy.

77 Times

How many times must I forgive my enemy? Peter asks. Peter suggests seven times, and Jesus says not seven times but 77 times.

What does 77 mean? It means seven, over and over again. Seven in the Old Testament means perfection. The world was created in seven days, perfectly. And what is the devil? Six, six, six. Not seven. Six is imperfect, and six repeated three times is the most imperfect of all.

The ancient Jews did not have superlatives. If you wanted to say something was the holiest, you would say “holy, holy, holy.” They could not say “holiest,” so they repeated the word three times. In the same way, six, six, six means the most imperfect.

How long did Noah live? 777 years. In other words, he lived a full, complete, good life.

So what is Jesus saying to Peter, and to us? This is the most important thing you can do as a Christian. You have to forgive, completely and without limit.

Why God Forgives, and Why We Don't

Why is God so forgiving? Because he loves us so much. And why does he love us so much? Because he believes that you have a future. He believes that today was not your best day and that tomorrow can be better.

We do not believe that about each other. We believe that this is how someone is and this is how they will always be. You are no good, you cannot change, you will not be any better. And that is why we have a hard time forgiving others, and that is why we have a hard time forgiving ourselves.

The Poison of Resentment

“Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight.”

Do we do that? Anger, resentment, revenge, bitterness, wrath. We hold on to them. We hug them.

Think about the word “resentment.” Resent. Replay. Over and over again in your mind, you replay the hurt you experienced. You play it again so that you hold on to it. It becomes part of who you are. And it poisons you. The poison you want to use to destroy the other person ends up destroying yourself. It is an auto-intoxication. You keep consuming it every time you replay the memory, and each time you replay it, you embellish it, making it even worse than it seemed before.

One Standard for Me, Another for Everyone Else

“The Lord is kind and merciful, slow to anger, and rich in compassion.”

Imagine if the Lord had responded differently. Peter said to Jesus, “You are the Messiah,” and Jesus gave him the keys. Then Peter said something foolish. He said, “God forbid that you should ever die.” Jesus could have said, “Give me back those keys.” But he did not. He said, “Get behind me, Satan,” and then let Peter keep the keys. You are better than that, Peter. You can do better.

We have to be careful that we do not hold a double standard, one for ourselves and a harsher one for everyone else.

We are all capable of hatred, vengefulness, anger, and wrath. Every one of us. You can see it in small moments, even on the road, when someone cuts you off and the fury rises. And then, when you are the one driving fast, suddenly it is different. Suddenly there are reasons. Suddenly there is grace.

We all have either a plank or a splinter in our eye. None of us have nothing there. Some days it is a splinter, other days it is a plank. Maybe both at once. So we have to be careful.

We Need Each Other

We have all been redeemed. We have all been loved. We have all been forgiven. God has shown tremendous mercy toward every one of us.

Saint Paul reminds us that none of us live by ourselves. None of us get through this world alone. We need each other. We need to forgive each other. We need to help each other. Because one day I have the splinter and the next day I have the plank, and I need to be able to both give and receive forgiveness.

None of us are perfect. But when someone shows mercy and compassion and forgiveness toward us, we can become a new person once again. You have helped to recreate me. You have helped to give me a new life.

Let us help each other get through this life together. Amen.

Break Free From the Past: How to Find Grace Again

 

Watch the full video on YouTube!

We Are Here to Help Each Other

Good morning, my dear brothers and sisters. Today’s readings are a reminder of how important it is to help one another. It’s very clear. We have to help one another. This is a sign of being a Christian. We are not here to hurt people. We are here to help people. And if we do that, and if we do that well, then people will know that we are Christians.

The First Reading: Speak Up

In the first reading, it’s pretty clear. “If I tell the wicked, O wicked one, you will die, and you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked from his way, the wicked shall die from their guilt, but I will hold you responsible for his death.”

Can you imagine? If we don’t speak up, if we don’t say “hey, what you’re doing is not right,” if we don’t give our voice to someone who needs help, the Lord says that the wicked person will die of their guilt and he will hold us responsible for it. That’s pretty clear.

The Second Reading: Owe Nothing Except Love

Then in the second reading, it almost seems like we’re off the hook. “Brothers and sisters, owe nothing to anyone.” Great. But it continues: “except to love one another.” And that’s everything. That’s everything.

I remember in confession, I gave a penance to someone and I said, “Okay, your only penance is to love your mother.” And they said, “That’s it?” Yes. That’s a tough penance. That’s not easy. To love someone.

Maybe it feels easy because we don’t really know what it means. What does it mean to love someone? It means to want what’s good for the other person. It means to give and to forgive. Those two go together. Owe nothing to anyone except the most important thing, the everything, which is to love one another.

The Gospel: Do Whatever It Takes

Then, of course, in the gospel today, Jesus tells the disciples that if your brother sins against you, go tell him. If he doesn’t listen to you, bring another person. If he doesn’t listen to the two of you, bring another person, three people. Do whatever you have to do to get this person to listen. This is how important it is to help each other. We have to help each other.

Don’t Fall Asleep to the Voice of God

But what’s the temptation? What’s the problem? “If today you hear his voice, harden not your heart.”

You know how it goes. Someone says, “Let’s watch this movie.” You sit down together, and five minutes in, the person who suggested it is fast asleep. Or you see someone at the airport reading a book, and their eyes are closing. This happens to all of us.

Yesterday, I was listening to confessions and I was starting to lose it. It was hard. I’m embarrassed to admit it. And of course, you can go through the motions. “Okay, your sins are forgiven.” But you have to make a decision. “If today you hear his voice, harden not your heart.” Don’t be deaf to it. Don’t fall asleep to it. Don’t be annoyed by it.

It’s like going to Mass and falling asleep. You’re not getting what you could get out of it, the graces. So snap out of it. Either read your book or go to bed. Either watch the movie or go to bed. Either do what you have to do or step away from it. But don’t try to live this halfway. “I’m here, but I’m not here.” No.

A Grace Born from Full Attention

When I finally made the decision in that confessional, when I said “snap out of it” and gave my full attention, I was able to be inspired by God to say something I had never said before.

Why does God forgive us so many times? Why does God love us so much? Why does he give us so much, and why does he keep forgiving us over and over and over again?

Because God believes that we have a future. That’s the reason. God believes that we can actually change.

Why is it so hard for you or me to forgive someone? Because we don’t believe that person can actually change. We don’t believe that person has a future, that they can actually be better than what they are today. And that’s why we don’t forgive easily.

Forgive the Past, Believe in the Future

So what was my illumination? Forgive your past and believe in your future. That was the message I was able to give to so many people that day.

Why does God forgive us? Because he forgives our past and he believes in our future.

My dear brothers and sisters, we can learn from that. We’ve experienced it over and over again. God has blessed us with so much. Forgive your past. Believe in your future. Because that is exactly what God does for us.

Amen.