Let Your Children Suffer — Why Toughness Makes You a Good Parent

The Quote That Started It All

Fr. Alfonse: Good morning, boys and girls. Today’s readings are a warning. Be careful, be careful.

5th grade, 6th grade, 8th grade. Almost every Tuesday morning, I leave a motivational quote on your desk. Sorry, 7th grade, you got next year.

Does anybody remember the one that started with “tough times”? If you remember, come up. Maybe with all of you, we can put it together.

Okay, wow, let’s see how far you can go. 

First Kid: Tough times make strong people. 

Fr. Alfonse: Beautiful. 

Second Kid: Strong people create easy times. 

Third Kid: Easy times create weak people. 

Last Kid: Weak people create tough times.

Fr. Alfonse: That was it. Do you notice something? It goes in a vicious circle. Do you understand?

Thank you guys. I didn’t even have to finish. Have a seat. I am amazed. I’m so proud of you.

Who Was Really Tough: King Herod or John the Baptist?

Be careful. Where’s Henry? He’s in second grade, third grade. Henry, where are you? Oh, there you are.

I promised him. Henry, who was tough? King Herod who beheaded John the Baptist or John the Baptist who was beheaded?

Henry: John the Baptist.

Fr. Alfonse: What? King Herod was king and he beheaded John the Baptist. How can John the Baptist be the tougher guy?

Henry: Because John the Baptist has a lot of power in his mind. He spoke the truth.

Fr. Alfonse: Henry, I’m proud of you. Excellent. Thank you.

You see, we remember John the Baptist. King Herod? You know what happened to King Herod? Does anybody know?

King Herod loved to throw parties. Party time, right? He loved to spend other people’s money.

Some of the high school kids know this. Can we have a party over at my house? Your house. You mean your parents’ house. Yeah, yeah. Can we have a party? Pool party. And Daddy and Mommy have to raise the temperature of the pool because you want to have it during winter time.

And then you tell Mommy and Daddy, yes, we’d like a little caviar and little hors d’oeuvres. You know, maybe chicken nuggets from Chick-fil-A instead of someplace cheaper.

Everybody loves to spend other people’s money.

What Happened to King Herod

Boys and girls, let me tell you something. What happened to King Herod?

King Herod partied a little too much for the Roman emperor, and he was kicked out not too many years after the death of John the Baptist. He died abandoned and lonely, exiled by the Roman emperor Caligula, who was also nuts.

Nobody even talks about King Herod except when we talk about John the Baptist.

Challenge Yourself or Someone Will Take Your Spot

Boys and girls, you’ve got to constantly challenge yourself. Otherwise what happens is that you start going downhill.

If you make it to the top, what are you supposed to do? Come down? No. Keep moving higher and higher.

If you don’t challenge yourself in your life, someone will take over your spot. It happens in business. It happens in schools.

There’s a beautiful school in New York. I remember it. It’s over a hundred years old. Beautiful church. They’re closing at the end of this school year in New York City. A school in New York City after over 120 years.

Why? Because they got comfortable. And little by little they started going down.

The Story of My Cousin in Italy

Listen to this. I have an aunt and an uncle in Italy who had nothing. They grew up during World War II. 

They worked themselves hard to start a little business. The business started to make money. They were millionaires when they died. Millionaires. Wow. Can you imagine from a little store? They created a big store.

When they died, in their will, they put their first child who had gone to college. They gave him some money because he had a job as a teacher. The second child who went to college, they gave her some money because she had a job as an engineer.

The third child never went to college, didn’t have a job. Party time all the time. And they made the biggest, dumbest decision to give him the store because he needed money.

This is my cousin in Italy. It didn’t take more than two years for him to drive it into the ground. And they closed the store.

When Parents Push You, They Love You

Boys and girls, every parent does not want their children to suffer. But every parent, when they tell you that you need to earn your allowance, that you need to earn your grades, that you need to do your work, they don’t hate you. They love you.

Because they want you to know that you have to earn things in life. Otherwise, you never appreciate what you have.

King David Was Great Because He Earned It

King David was a great king. And did you hear what they said about him? Did you hear? It was beautiful. Look at this.

“Like the choice fat of a sacred offering, so was David in Israel.” In other words, he was the best. He was the best.

“He made sports of lions as though they were kids.” He was able to fight lions and bears like they were lambs. “As a youth, he slew the giant and wiped out the people’s disgrace. When his hand let fly the sling stone that crushed the pride of Goliath. Since he called upon the Most High God who gave him strength through his right arm to defeat the skilled warrior and raise up the might of his people.”

Everybody loved King David. You know why?

Because King David was the last child of a bunch of kids. And his parents were shepherds. King David grew up with nothing. He was a little shepherd boy.

And when God called him, he was the youngest one of all the children. God said, you’re the one. You’re going to be the one that’s king.

When God called him to be a king, he made him fight for it. He made him earn it.

Then Came Solomon

Well, then guess what? Then King David had a son, Solomon. Party time! All King Solomon wanted to do was party.

Guess what? By the end of his reign, Israel was divided and conquered. So they weren’t able to say the same thing about King Solomon.

The Real Message

So boys and girls, when your teachers, when your parents, when people that love you say, “Hey, get up, you can do it. Go for it. Work hard for it.”

You want to have a party? Okay, let’s use some of your allowance. You want to go to the movies? You want to go with your friends? Okay, take some of your money.

When your parents want you to earn what you get, they don’t hate you. They really, really love you. They want you to learn how to be tough.

Tough times create strong people. 

Amen?

Amen.