Forgiveness & Why it Matters

 

The Mass Begins With Confession

My dear brothers and sisters, these readings really touch the heart. These are very human readings that we need to hear.

If you notice at the very beginning of Mass, what is the first thing that we do? We do the sign of the cross, and then we go right into “I confess.”

“I confess to Almighty God and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned in my thoughts, in my words, in my actions, in what I have done and what I have failed to do.”

That is the very beginning of the Mass. And after we confess, “Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy.” Then immediately, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to people of goodwill. We praise you, we bless you, we adore you, we glorify you, we give you thanks.”

It is almost as if we need to give thanks immediately after we ask for God's mercy. Because in the gospel today, the master forgives the servant's enormous debts, and then that servant immediately forgets. He goes on and has a hard time forgiving a fellow servant who owes far, far less.

It is amazing how quickly we can forget that when we receive mercy, we have to give mercy.

77 Times

How many times must I forgive my enemy? Peter asks. Peter suggests seven times, and Jesus says not seven times but 77 times.

What does 77 mean? It means seven, over and over again. Seven in the Old Testament means perfection. The world was created in seven days, perfectly. And what is the devil? Six, six, six. Not seven. Six is imperfect, and six repeated three times is the most imperfect of all.

The ancient Jews did not have superlatives. If you wanted to say something was the holiest, you would say “holy, holy, holy.” They could not say “holiest,” so they repeated the word three times. In the same way, six, six, six means the most imperfect.

How long did Noah live? 777 years. In other words, he lived a full, complete, good life.

So what is Jesus saying to Peter, and to us? This is the most important thing you can do as a Christian. You have to forgive, completely and without limit.

Why God Forgives, and Why We Don't

Why is God so forgiving? Because he loves us so much. And why does he love us so much? Because he believes that you have a future. He believes that today was not your best day and that tomorrow can be better.

We do not believe that about each other. We believe that this is how someone is and this is how they will always be. You are no good, you cannot change, you will not be any better. And that is why we have a hard time forgiving others, and that is why we have a hard time forgiving ourselves.

The Poison of Resentment

“Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight.”

Do we do that? Anger, resentment, revenge, bitterness, wrath. We hold on to them. We hug them.

Think about the word “resentment.” Resent. Replay. Over and over again in your mind, you replay the hurt you experienced. You play it again so that you hold on to it. It becomes part of who you are. And it poisons you. The poison you want to use to destroy the other person ends up destroying yourself. It is an auto-intoxication. You keep consuming it every time you replay the memory, and each time you replay it, you embellish it, making it even worse than it seemed before.

One Standard for Me, Another for Everyone Else

“The Lord is kind and merciful, slow to anger, and rich in compassion.”

Imagine if the Lord had responded differently. Peter said to Jesus, “You are the Messiah,” and Jesus gave him the keys. Then Peter said something foolish. He said, “God forbid that you should ever die.” Jesus could have said, “Give me back those keys.” But he did not. He said, “Get behind me, Satan,” and then let Peter keep the keys. You are better than that, Peter. You can do better.

We have to be careful that we do not hold a double standard, one for ourselves and a harsher one for everyone else.

We are all capable of hatred, vengefulness, anger, and wrath. Every one of us. You can see it in small moments, even on the road, when someone cuts you off and the fury rises. And then, when you are the one driving fast, suddenly it is different. Suddenly there are reasons. Suddenly there is grace.

We all have either a plank or a splinter in our eye. None of us have nothing there. Some days it is a splinter, other days it is a plank. Maybe both at once. So we have to be careful.

We Need Each Other

We have all been redeemed. We have all been loved. We have all been forgiven. God has shown tremendous mercy toward every one of us.

Saint Paul reminds us that none of us live by ourselves. None of us get through this world alone. We need each other. We need to forgive each other. We need to help each other. Because one day I have the splinter and the next day I have the plank, and I need to be able to both give and receive forgiveness.

None of us are perfect. But when someone shows mercy and compassion and forgiveness toward us, we can become a new person once again. You have helped to recreate me. You have helped to give me a new life.

Let us help each other get through this life together. Amen.

Break Free From the Past: How to Find Grace Again

 

Watch the full video on YouTube!

We Are Here to Help Each Other

Good morning, my dear brothers and sisters. Today’s readings are a reminder of how important it is to help one another. It’s very clear. We have to help one another. This is a sign of being a Christian. We are not here to hurt people. We are here to help people. And if we do that, and if we do that well, then people will know that we are Christians.

The First Reading: Speak Up

In the first reading, it’s pretty clear. “If I tell the wicked, O wicked one, you will die, and you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked from his way, the wicked shall die from their guilt, but I will hold you responsible for his death.”

Can you imagine? If we don’t speak up, if we don’t say “hey, what you’re doing is not right,” if we don’t give our voice to someone who needs help, the Lord says that the wicked person will die of their guilt and he will hold us responsible for it. That’s pretty clear.

The Second Reading: Owe Nothing Except Love

Then in the second reading, it almost seems like we’re off the hook. “Brothers and sisters, owe nothing to anyone.” Great. But it continues: “except to love one another.” And that’s everything. That’s everything.

I remember in confession, I gave a penance to someone and I said, “Okay, your only penance is to love your mother.” And they said, “That’s it?” Yes. That’s a tough penance. That’s not easy. To love someone.

Maybe it feels easy because we don’t really know what it means. What does it mean to love someone? It means to want what’s good for the other person. It means to give and to forgive. Those two go together. Owe nothing to anyone except the most important thing, the everything, which is to love one another.

The Gospel: Do Whatever It Takes

Then, of course, in the gospel today, Jesus tells the disciples that if your brother sins against you, go tell him. If he doesn’t listen to you, bring another person. If he doesn’t listen to the two of you, bring another person, three people. Do whatever you have to do to get this person to listen. This is how important it is to help each other. We have to help each other.

Don’t Fall Asleep to the Voice of God

But what’s the temptation? What’s the problem? “If today you hear his voice, harden not your heart.”

You know how it goes. Someone says, “Let’s watch this movie.” You sit down together, and five minutes in, the person who suggested it is fast asleep. Or you see someone at the airport reading a book, and their eyes are closing. This happens to all of us.

Yesterday, I was listening to confessions and I was starting to lose it. It was hard. I’m embarrassed to admit it. And of course, you can go through the motions. “Okay, your sins are forgiven.” But you have to make a decision. “If today you hear his voice, harden not your heart.” Don’t be deaf to it. Don’t fall asleep to it. Don’t be annoyed by it.

It’s like going to Mass and falling asleep. You’re not getting what you could get out of it, the graces. So snap out of it. Either read your book or go to bed. Either watch the movie or go to bed. Either do what you have to do or step away from it. But don’t try to live this halfway. “I’m here, but I’m not here.” No.

A Grace Born from Full Attention

When I finally made the decision in that confessional, when I said “snap out of it” and gave my full attention, I was able to be inspired by God to say something I had never said before.

Why does God forgive us so many times? Why does God love us so much? Why does he give us so much, and why does he keep forgiving us over and over and over again?

Because God believes that we have a future. That’s the reason. God believes that we can actually change.

Why is it so hard for you or me to forgive someone? Because we don’t believe that person can actually change. We don’t believe that person has a future, that they can actually be better than what they are today. And that’s why we don’t forgive easily.

Forgive the Past, Believe in the Future

So what was my illumination? Forgive your past and believe in your future. That was the message I was able to give to so many people that day.

Why does God forgive us? Because he forgives our past and he believes in our future.

My dear brothers and sisters, we can learn from that. We’ve experienced it over and over again. God has blessed us with so much. Forgive your past. Believe in your future. Because that is exactly what God does for us.

Amen.

Stop Choosing Comfort. It Will Crucify You Anyway.

 

Peter, Soldiers, and the Call to Suffer

My dear brothers and sisters, today the readings inspire us to be soldiers, soldiers for Christ. That is the best description I can think of.

Especially when you look at the Gospel today. Just last week, Peter declared, “You are the Messiah, the Son of God.” And Jesus responded, “I call you Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church.” Not even ten minutes later, Jesus is saying to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan.”

Why? Because Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem, suffer greatly from the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, be killed, and on the third day be raised. And Peter took Jesus aside. “God forbid, Lord. God forbid that something like that would happen to you.”

And then, instead of Jesus saying, “Ah, Peter, thanks, man. I know you love me and I know you care about me,” he said, “Get behind me, Satan. You are an obstacle to me. You are not thinking as God does, but as human beings do.”

“You Duped Me, Lord”

Well, how does God think? In the first reading, from the prophet Jeremiah, we hear those striking words. “You duped me, Lord.” I love that.

You know what duped means? You fooled me. Jeremiah thought that when God called him to be a prophet, he was going to be the king of the hill. He imagined people running up to him, asking for his blessing. Instead, Jeremiah was mocked and ridiculed. “All the day I am an object of laughter. Everyone mocks me. No one wants to hear what I have to say.”

The Night Before Ordination

This first reading reminds me of the night before I was ordained a priest in Rome. It is very hard to remember what people tell you yesterday, let alone a week ago or a month ago. So imagine remembering something said to you almost thirty years ago. Whatever it was, it must have been powerful.

The night before my ordination, during the last meditation of our retreat, the priest directing us said, “Brothers, tomorrow you will be ordained priests. After ten years, you will finally be priests.” And all of us were relieved, just exhaling.

He said, “People are coming from everywhere to see you. Your parents are flying in. Your relatives, your siblings, your cousins, your friends are all flying in. When you are ordained, there will be envelopes. There will be, ‘Give me your first blessing, Father.’ People will kneel, and you will bless them in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. They will kiss your hands, still fragrant with chrism oil.”

And we were all nodding along, thinking, yes. This is it.

Then he said, “But do not forget. Tomorrow you will be crucified with Christ. Do not ever forget that.”

You duped me, Lord. I thought this was going to be a bed of roses. I thought this was going to be easy.

The Teeter-Totter

Think of your life like a teeter-totter. The people who love you most, your parents, they say you are great when you do what is right and good. And when you are faithful, you are at the top with the Lord.

But the moment you decide not to be faithful, you are deciding to go for what is convenient. Convenience rather than conviction. And anybody who tries to live their life for convenience or comfort will be crucified in a different way. You have to stick to your beliefs. Stay strong.

This is what the Lord was saying to Peter. “Peter, don’t you understand? I don’t have to die on the cross if I decide to give it all up. If I decide to be just like everyone else. If I decide to go with the flow instead of being the salmon that swims against the current, I could easily make my life comfortable.”

So when Peter said, “God forbid that this happens to you,” he just did not get it.

Beautiful Is Not the Same as Pretty

If you stand for what is right and good and beautiful, let me tell you something. Beautiful does not mean pretty. That cross is not pretty. That is ugly. But it is beautiful, because what is the Lord saying? “You are worth it. You are worth every drop of my blood.” That is what makes it beautiful.

When you stand for what you believe in, even when it hurts, you are doing the work of the Lord. You are a soldier.

The Ninth Graders

Not too long ago I was talking to a group of ninth graders. They had just entered high school. They were at the bottom of the barrel, no longer at the top of the hill. I asked what was wrong, and one of the girls said, “Father, no one has invited me to homecoming yet.”

Then I talked to the boys. I asked why they were not inviting the girls to homecoming. One of them said, “Father, the cool kids wait till the end.” And I told him, “But you are not cool.” He just nodded and said, “You wait.”

Do you believe in yourself? Do you have to settle for less in order to be popular or liked? Or are you willing to stick to your guns, stick to your beliefs, and see how things turn out? Hold steady. Guard the fort. Be convinced of the words of Jesus Christ.

Ulysses S. Grant and the Power of Conviction

I have been reading a book on Ulysses S. Grant. Can you imagine that three of the generals who surrendered to him at the end of the Civil War had all been at his wedding? James Longstreet, a Confederate general, was his best man. Two other Confederate generals were also there when Grant got married. And those were the three generals present when Lee surrendered to Grant.

What made the difference? When you believe in something, when you are truly convinced, the road will not always be easy. It can be an ugly road. But it can also be a beautiful road. It can change the world. It can change the lives of the people around you.

You have to stay convinced even when people make fun of you, especially when you are young. In high school, people mock you for being good. It can even seem like it is bad to be good and good to be bad. Be convinced. Humility is strength.

The Fire That Cannot Be Contained

Let us go back to the first reading one more time. Jeremiah says to himself, “I will not mention him. I will not speak in his name anymore. I won’t show my faith. I won’t speak about Jesus at work. I won’t pray before lunch at school. I’m not going to look like a fool anymore. I’m done.”

But when you are truly convinced, it does not stay silent for long. Then it becomes like a fire burning in his heart, imprisoned in his bones. “I grow weary holding it in. I cannot endure it.”

That is what we are looking for in today’s readings. Who is going to speak up for the Lord? Who will be a soldier for Christ? Who will stay at the top of that teeter-totter instead of sliding down?

Who will speak for Him?

Today we should be able to say, “Here I am, Lord. I come to do your will.”

Amen.