John 21:20-25 What About Them?
Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved and said to Jesus, “Lord, what about him?”
What concerns me? What creates anxiety or suspicion in my soul? What drives me to compare my life to others? Don't I know that the Lord wishes that I follow him, and him alone?
“Lord, what about him?” What exactly drove Peter to ask? Was it curiosity? Maybe. Was it doubt? Probably. And doubt comes from pride. No wonder Christ’s curt response, “What concern is it of yours? Follow me.”
We have but one mission in life: to be a Saint; to be holy; to be more like Him.
“Lord, what about him?” What exactly drove Peter to ask? Was it curiosity? Maybe. Was it doubt? Probably. And doubt comes from pride. No wonder Christ’s curt response, “What concern is it of yours? Follow me.”
We have but one mission in life: to be a Saint; to be holy; to be more like Him.
We see others as we are and so we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. And we constantly come up short. And wait, it gets worse when it comes to things that are not like me. I see an apple as a fruit only because it is to me. I never see it as the ground sees it: a placenta with a seed. I see a flower as a gift when it is for me. But what is a flower if I am a weed? Is it not something that needs to be choked and displaced to make space for me? So, how can I see anything for what it truly is if I am constantly comparing it back to me?
Why do we keep trying to change or manipulate God’s creation? Why do we keep trying to redefine God’s creation? Why do we keep on messing up God's creation? Because we think we know it all. And we don’t, not at all.
This is our problem. We believe we can know it all. And our biggest problems happen when we act as if we know it all. Yes, I may be able to manipulate people and things, but I will never know people or any thing. I will never be able to swallow the the depth, the height, the breadth, the width of God's creation without God. I will never be able to fully know the future or understand the past without the Alpha and Omega. Now I finally get it! If I wish to find the true meaning of any thing, then I must start with the Lord who thinks and lives inside and outside of me.
Follow me. Peter’s feelings of guilt, uneasiness or unworthiness came about due to his denials. He never imagined carrying such guilt in his life. He thought for sure he knew the Lord. He thought he could define him with his own lips as he confessed, “You are the messiah, the Son of the living God.” He thought he knew himself when the Lord spoke and said, “You are Rock, and upon this rock I will build my church.” It all comes to a head with Christ’s threefold question; “Peter, do you love me? It took Peter three times before he understood and said, “Lord you know everything; you know I love you.” To love means to carry out your mission in life; to truly love means to unconditionally follow. It’s not impossible. Soldiers do it all the time. They know their mission; they trust in their mission; they may even understand their mission. But try as hard as they can, they cannot guarantee the results of their mission. No man can. God can. And with God, nothing is impossible, not even His mission for us.
This is our problem. We believe we can know it all. And our biggest problems happen when we act as if we know it all. Yes, I may be able to manipulate people and things, but I will never know people or any thing. I will never be able to swallow the the depth, the height, the breadth, the width of God's creation without God. I will never be able to fully know the future or understand the past without the Alpha and Omega. Now I finally get it! If I wish to find the true meaning of any thing, then I must start with the Lord who thinks and lives inside and outside of me.
Follow me. Peter’s feelings of guilt, uneasiness or unworthiness came about due to his denials. He never imagined carrying such guilt in his life. He thought for sure he knew the Lord. He thought he could define him with his own lips as he confessed, “You are the messiah, the Son of the living God.” He thought he knew himself when the Lord spoke and said, “You are Rock, and upon this rock I will build my church.” It all comes to a head with Christ’s threefold question; “Peter, do you love me? It took Peter three times before he understood and said, “Lord you know everything; you know I love you.” To love means to carry out your mission in life; to truly love means to unconditionally follow. It’s not impossible. Soldiers do it all the time. They know their mission; they trust in their mission; they may even understand their mission. But try as hard as they can, they cannot guarantee the results of their mission. No man can. God can. And with God, nothing is impossible, not even His mission for us.
Since nothing is impossible for the Lord, it is possible for Him to search the just and the wicked. And search he does; not to destroy but to seek and love, for love does not compare; it fulfills. The Lord knows me yesterday, today and tomorrow. He knows me for who I truly am. He knows me in my oneness and in my totality. I am not an animal nor am I a human to him. No man made language is taught or learned in heaven; only the language of love is given and received. Who am I? His son. His daughter. He knows me and for this simple reason he calls me to follow.
To follow the Lord means to imitate the Lord, and to imitate the Lord means to follow his example in his thoughts, his words, his actions and even in his reactions. By His ways we will know the Lord better, know ourselves better and fulfill our mission better.
Oh, Father, I've been anxiously awaiting a contemplative, richly thought-out post like this one! Beautiful. It's almost like you read into my mind. The Holy Spirit has been powerful in my life this week. Is it a "God-instance" when we read something that makes us reflect on who we are and what we are to others and to the Lord? Yes!
ReplyDeleteI admit I compare myself to others way too much. I feel weak and inferior to those I perceive as smarter, better educated. I become depressed because I do not possess another person's talent or gift. I think the so called "gifts" God gave me as kind of shotty: I drive a broken down clunker while the person next to be drives a brand new Lexus! I have a rough time understanding why I have to live pay check to paycheck when others don't. Or even worse, when I want to go to graduate school and can't afford it! How I long for intellectual stimulation because I find my life so boring, unfulfilling, and wasteful. I cannot possibly see how I can ever be a Saint with so much envy, fear, anxiety, and burden weighing on my heart.
Today is the Feast Day of Philip Neri who is one of my favorite Saints. He was known for his joyful presence. God gave him the gift of humor which helped him win so many faithful hearts to Christ! He lived a simplified life yet so full of genuine love for God and the evangelistic spirit. This quote from St. Philip Neri inspires me: "We must have confidence in God, who is what he always has been, and we must not be disheartened because things turn out contrary to us." I should remember this on the days a pity-me party stirs in my heart and I'm frustrated because I don't have what others have. Think of St. Philip Neri's words when life isn't going the way I want and I refuse to recognize my blessings. I daily examine how I can use my gifts to spread the gospel message, but then I get stuck wondering: "How can I make a positive impact?" I certainly don't know it all. I don't want to be perceived as an irritating and obnoxious Know It All!
Blessings,
-Jennifer
“And wait, it gets worse when it comes to things that are not like me. I see an apple as a fruit only because it is to me. I never see it as the ground sees it: a placenta with a seed. I see a flower as a gift when it is for me. But what is a flower if I am a weed? Is it not something that needs to be choked and displaced to make space for me? So, how can I see anything for what it truly is if I am constantly comparing it back to me?”
DeleteIs this not how Muslims see the Christians? And the Christians see the Hindus? All of the above see atheists? Atheists see all of the above?
Father, this is exactly how I was able to “see” how others see all the various faiths!!! If I grew up as a really good Muslim, loving one another, no holy war mentality, I can only continue to live this way, b/c this is good, holy and loving. This is where I find my God. My neighbor, who is a Christian, lives the way she was brought up: good, holy and loving one another, no proselytizing going on. My problem is that I know both of these people!!!! This Muslim lady that I know is more “Christian” than most Christians I know!! How am I to interpret this? This is exactly where you are coming from!! Yes, I know this place. It is where we are standing when we are interpreting the surrounding environment…. And the surrounding environment is radiating its fragrance back to me for interpretation! It is God, who is Love who is radiating His Love to me, telling me we are all His children, we just have different languages, different styles of Loving, different words that if really searched, if really sought after, are all looking for the same thing: His Love. I am always saying, "Save for the grace of God, there go I." What if I was born into a very loving, Muslim family in America?
We are living in an uninhabited landscape. No one has ever lived in this environment: the vastness of the media’s influence, the level of subtle evilness, the relativism, the consumerism, the holy wars vs the Muslims who are not even backing a holy war, the closeness of terrorism, even the closing in on time & space, it is almost too much. But, as you said, we have Him on our side!!!! Grace abounds!
If we Catholics, who have Him in the Eucharist, His Word (which we are all small Words), and have the magisterium to live and Love by, how can we not see our enemy as someone to Love? Is the person born a Muslim, living the same life I am living (as far as morals and Loving are concerned) not going to make it to heaven before me who is not living to the potential that God has given me?
You are right. (Not in the sense that you are always right ;)) It IS the perspective from where “we” are coming from. This insight, this perspective is where I find Jesus. As you ask, “what is Love?”
Also, I would love to debate you on your thoughts, “And doubt comes from pride.” Think about John of the Cross, Teresa of Avila, the mystics of the Church, Mother Teresa??? Think about Jesus: "My God, My God, WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED ME?" Was this not doubt of the Fathers' presence?
“We’ve got to go through hell before we get to heaven….” Another cross, I love it!
"I will never be able to fully know the future or understand the past. Now I finally understand what mystery means for I will never understand anything that is inside or outside of me."
ReplyDeleteThis statement jumped out at me. I have spent my entire adult life trying to understand myself . I’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars reading self help books and going to counseling. I’ve been to individual counseling, group counseling, marriage counseling, family counseling, I’ve been with each of my children and I even took my parents and my sister to counseling . I’ve tried so hard to figure it/me out so I could fix it/me.
And now you’re telling me I could have saved myself the trouble and the cash because I’ll never figure it out?
I’ll never know who I really am. I think it’s true. I’m close to 50 and I’m finding out some huge things about myself that have always been there, but I hadn’t discovered.
Two years ago I discovered I had a little mood disorder. Not that big a deal. Take some pills and re-train your brain. (Ok that last part isn’t that easy. Two months ago I discovered I’ve had demons inside me, most likely my entire life. Ok, a little bigger deal. Both of these things have greatly effected my thinking and actions, which are who I am to myself and others. As I look at both of those realities, I wonder who have I been all these years? Who will I be when I’m alone inside my head and body? And how can the Holy Spirit live there if there are evil spirits in there? I have been dissecting all of this trying to figure it out, what could the purpose of all this be? How do I get rid of this and how did I get it? I’ve been running around trying to find answers to all my questions, reading books, looking for ‘experts’, looking up stuff on the internet (FYI: Don’t even try to look anything up on the internet about an infestation of spirits) LOL! What is God thinking?
It seems that I have been chasing my tail. I don’t have to understand, I’m not meant to understand!
Now I 'know' who I am and who I will be. I am the person God made me to be. Obviously, He’s not finished with me yet, but He is working fast and furious on something. I can almost feel the chisel in his hand.
Your words today have given me a little peace. Realizing that I can let it all go and just put it in God’s hands and trust that He knows what He’s doing, He’s in control, He is protecting me and I don’t need to worry my little head about all the details. I just need to leave the chisel in HIS HANDS and no one else’s not even mine, especially not mine. I need to quit thinking how unreal all this is, accept it and believe it, know that I am fully awake and stomp on the microscope I’ve been carrying around.
I am REALLY going to work on doing this.