Supporting Them When You Feel Invisible: the Hidden Influence of Parents in the Children's Lives

 

Saying Goodbye (to the Schoolkids)

This is it. One more Mass left in the school year.

Can you believe it? It feels like the year went by so fast. And because of that, it is very important to make sure you walk away knowing one thing. One thing that is extremely important. One thing you can never forget. One thing that will change your life forever.

---

Who Are You?

Before you leave this school, there is a question you have to be able to answer. Your teachers, the sisters, they do not want you to forget this.

I called up sixteen students to answer this. (I meant to call twelve, but I pointed too fast)

The question is simple: Who are you?

One of the kids said, “I’m a girl.” The next said, “I’m alive.” After that, “I’m a creation of God.” And all of that is true. But the fullest answer, the one that is 99% of everything, is this:

“I am created in the image and likeness of God.”

Or put even more simply: you are a child of God.

If someone walks up to you tomorrow, or ten years from now, and asks who you are, that is your answer. A child of God. Do not forget it.

---

Mistakes Are Proof That You Are Alive

Now, some of you might be thinking something like this. You might be thinking, “Father, if you really knew me, if you knew my thoughts, if you knew my mistakes, if you knew my past, you wouldn’t call me a beautiful gift from God.”

And here is what needs to be said about that.

Mistakes are a part of growing up. And growing up is proof that you are alive. Of course we should try to avoid mistakes. Of course we should learn from them. But making mistakes happens. You should not be afraid to grow up.

When you know that you are a child of God, it means you can always become something better. That identity is not taken away from you when you fall short. It is actually the reason you can get back up.

---

Why Did Jesus Ask Peter Three Times?

This is the harder question. Why did Jesus ask Peter “Do you love me?” three times?

The kids answered a few different ways to think about it.

Maybe he asked three times to make sure. To give Peter the chance to really think it through, in case more thought might change the answer. Maybe it was to draw out the truth, to get Peter to say it plainly and fully. One student offered a beautiful idea: that Jesus was asking on behalf of the whole Holy Trinity, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. That is a genuinely profound thought. He’s going to end up a theologian.

But the answer most people land on is this: Peter had denied Jesus three times. So Jesus came back three times. Not to punish him. Not to shame him. But to restore him.

And notice what happened every time Peter said yes. Jesus did not just nod and move on. He gave Peter a responsibility. “Feed my sheep.” Each answer was met with a new calling.

Jesus believed in Peter even after Peter made a serious mistake. He could have said, “Peter, nice try. Hand me back those keys.” After all, he had given Peter the keys to the kingdom. He had every reason to take them back.

But he didn’t.

---

The People Who Believed in You First

There is a quote from a talk given by the founder of a company, and it is worth holding onto.

Believe in the people who believed in you before the world believed in you.

Think about that for a moment. Jesus believed in Peter before Peter had done anything to earn it back. That is the model.

Think about the teachers in your life. When you make a mistake, they do not just tell you to sit down and move on. They tell you to learn from it. They tell you not to give up. Think about your parents. They keep telling you, “You can do better. Keep trying.” The people who surround you shape who you become.

There is something true and important here: people do not change because they are told to change. They change when the right people are around them. When you tell yourself you can do something, you have a far better chance of actually doing it than when you tell yourself you cannot.

---

The Turtle on the Fence

Here is a story that makes the point in a way that is hard to forget.

A long time ago, a turtle showed up in the backyard. I had no pets. I immediately picked him up. “You are mine,” I said, “and I shall call you Turtle.” 

He was put in a box. I tried to feed him spaghetti. He would not eat. A trip to the pet store revealed that turtles eat fish. I bought fish. He still would not eat. Back to the pet store. It turned out turtles can only eat underwater, so I bought an aquarium. The piggy bank was broken open, the aquarium was filled, the fish went in, and finally Turtle started eating.

But then he kept bumping against the wall of the tank. Back to the pet store: he needed rocks so he could climb out and dry his shell. Rocks were added. His shell started peeling. Back to the pet store: a special light was required. Then winter came and the water got cold. Back to the pet store: a heater, so the water stayed warm like a little jacuzzi.

Every need was met. Every problem was solved.

And then one day, Turtle was gone. Just gone. No sign of an escape. No explanation.

A few weeks later, my mother called out from the backyard. There, sitting on top of the wooden fence, was the turtle.

How did he get up there?

The first thought was Ninja Turtles. (This was back when they were big) Maybe a big stick. Maybe he launched himself somehow.

The answer was much simpler. Someone put him there.

That is the moral of the story. When you make it to the top, it is because someone helped you get there. No one makes it to the top alone.

---

Thank the People Who Got You Here

If you have had a successful year, stop and think about who made it possible.

The people who believed in you before you even believed in yourself. The people who believed in you before the world did. The sisters. The teachers. Your parents. Everyone who invested in you, corrected you, encouraged you, and refused to give up on you.

Those are the people you want around you. Not just this year, but for your whole life. People who love you, who care about you, and who want the best for you.

That is the one thing to carry out of this school year. You are a child of God. You are surrounded by people who believe in you. And when you make it to the top, remember who helped you get there.

Amen.