Let your mercy come to me, O Lord (Ps 119:41a). Let the driving force of your love push away all my fears and anxieties that this day may bring. I had enough yesterday. It took its toll, physically and spiritually. Yesterday would be considered a “bad” day if you O Lord were not by my side. You alone give me strength to rest my head and keep the faith. Evening came, and morning followed – another day has arrived.
The new morning follows with a splitting headache. I can barely remember my name. My body aches, my heart skips and the Lord gives to me another cross to carry. It’s the same cross: more demands, more people in need, more love to give. The voice comes from the darkest places of my being, I cannot do it. I am failing.
Lord, allow me to see you as you truly are: my God. Allow me to see who I truly am: a potential – that’s right – a possible gift of love to the world. Will I give it or not? I must remind myself on a daily basis that life was not meant to be preserved but to be consumed. Consummatum est.
I can easily become a creature of habit and go about my daily routine without any love, without any thought, without any conviction. But the Lord is good to me. He surprises me. “When I am weak, then I am strong!” It is not so much what I do that matters but who I do it for. What am I but a man. What am I when I am a man of God! St. Paul hit the nail right on the head when he wrote, “For in Christ Jesus neither works alone nor faith alone counts for anything, but only faith working through love.” (Gal 5:6)
Faith working through love. What am I going to talk about today? Nothing. What am I going to do today? Nothing. But with faith working through love, I will do something beautiful today, something everlasting: Eternal.
A little bit of housecleaning is on the list for me today. I need to purge from my heart the impurities that cloud my vision, my senses, and my emotions. The inside is much more important than the outside. This is so clear to me and yet I dedicate so little to the more important. Too much time is wasted on the outside, more than an hour a day and barely an hour of meditation for my internal – spiritual – organs that keep my joy, my peace, my happiness alive. The children remind us (me) too well of how important is our spiritual health. I am poor, chaste and obedient; I wear the same un-designer clothing on a daily basis and yet, the kids love it! They love me, rather, they love Him through me. The Lord says, Give! Yes, give it all! Give it to me and you will be clean!
The morning marks the beginning of a new day. I will not allow the devil to have the last word. Give the Lord your words. Give the Lord your heart. Give the Lord all your actions. Give the Lord all your pains, sorrows and suffering. Give to the Lord all that He gives to you with love and faith. Multiply the beauty of the world by serving the last and seeking the First.
Today my life belongs to the Lord. Look for trouble! Get involved! Make a mess of this world and put it back in order!
You are in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteThank you for keeping me in your prayers. But remember, the mediation is a reflection not so much on my current state but a reflection that the Lord wishes me to share with you. I didn't wake up with a headache today. :-) But I am sure that some did.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice on working on the eternal. It seems as if something always comes up which keeps me away from spending time with Him.
ReplyDeleteYeah right! You had a bad day yesterday don't lie >:(
ReplyDelete“The voice comes from the darkest places of my being. I cannot do it. I am failing.”
ReplyDeleteI hear this voice every day. It is a struggle every day to drown it out with truth. True, I cannot do it, not by myself, but I’m not by myself. I have to remind myself every day, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. Too often I underestimate the power of Christ working through me and give in to that ‘voice’ that only wants me to fail. I listen to his lies and I sit down on the job He has given me and whine that it's too hard or that He's asking too much.
"Allow me to see who I truly am: a potential – that’s right – a possible gift of love to the world."
This is a wonderful way, a realistic way to put it. I have a choice, to live up to the potential I have been given or not to. Sometimes it is so hard to see that potential in myself because the light has been clouded by lies I choose to believe, lies I’ve been told and lies I’ve told myself. In my heart, I know what’s true. That God made me, He loves me and He wants to use me for His glory and honor, to bring the lost to Himself. So why do I fail so often to remember what I know. Would that be too much responsibility? Am I choosing not to remember so I won’t have to be accountable? How stupid am I? He knows!